Monday, December 22, 2003
it's just one of those days , when u wake up at 4am ,wishing it could rain, praying that crying wasn't such a bad thing, hoping that everything would go away. leave you inside, leave you to die, how is it that i have you in my life and still i feel so hollow rambling on about my miserable life when all you've given me is love. sweet love that i can't see or feel. association doesn't matter cuz even with it i'm still nothing. materialism grips me and it's useless to fight it. we're in this world that is just like this we're in this place that we can't condemn cuz condemnation is meaningless unless it's agreed upon a majority of people. it's impossible for life to be fair when the world is not in order. but who ever said that life was meant to be fair. who ever made a claim that we were all supposed to think that white meant cleen and black meant dirty. what in the world possesed us to come up with such a thing as language and words and descriptions and so on. it's amazing...yet it creates a mindset in all of us. it makes us think that the world has a guidebook. that there is an explination to everything. soon the word phenomenon will be lost to the world and the world will grow dull...thinking that it knows everything. don't you think that it's unreasonable. it doesn't give people who don't live like that a chance to survive. new ideas...unless ur popular will succeed. so one will hear you talk untill they know how good you are and no one will know how good you are till you have connections.
this world is so warp. and maybe i'm not from here and that's why i feel the alienation that idon't belong here. i don't need what these people need. i feel different...maybe i feel exactally how you feel. maybe we're that same...maybe there are others who feel like us...that wouldn't make us different anymore right? that would make us similar...yet different to majority of man kind. no matter how much i go on...the bottom line still stands...God is in control...He has a purpose for me. He will not test me over my limit. He will break me. and i will let Him. okay so that's more than one line...but it's what will keep me alive and in this race.
smashed by daphney @ 10:06 AM
Saturday, December 20, 2003
i've realized it doesn't matter how many 'things' you have...or how many things you can do.
people can still avoid you.
you can still be outcasted...
this world can suck so badly sometimes man...
smashed by daphney @ 5:09 AM
Friday, December 19, 2003
okay i don't think i'll like write ma really old stuff here....but this is one i wrote on wednesday night
i guess you don't know
the pain you've put in my heart
i try to believe that it's something else
blind my eyes with objects i know i don't care about.
pretend i don't hear you
pretend i don't see but i do
*maybe it's the way i take things
i read way too deep
possibly the way you speak
sometimes you don't think
but i thought i'd let you know
sometimes it hurts sometimes inside i bleed-
just thought you should know.
played my part for so long
thought you'd let me in
could i have chosen the wrong path
maybe it was my fault to begin to believe
that i thought i knew you
that i thought you cared.
*
at night i cry, at night i weep,
wanting to know you more
we are so close yet i can't see,
what it is that i ignore.
i will find peace of mind
when i learn what it is you hide
*
just thought you should know.
don't know what to call it yet. but...yeup...suggestions? just let me know. ta!
smashed by daphney @ 9:25 PM
entity
hey. didn't tell anyone about this website. so if u happen to chance upon it, you can scroll through two of the most personal things to me. music and God. if u don't think u can heack it, get outta here. if not, this is me. this is my music. enjoy :) -daphney-
